come on without
come on within
you'll not see nothing
like the mighty Quinn

-bob dylan-

it's been a rough week. with the grand exception of a fantastic first night of dodgeball this season (we won both our games!) and a spectacular run today and monday. which, now that i think about it, are great exceptions. so maybe not a rough week. just an up-and-down one. one that ended with my cat, maximilian, in the emergency vet hospital for 2 days, where he still is tonight.

i know he's a cat. and i'm well aware that there are a lot of people who don't necessarily understand how much he means to me. or think that i'm heading towards crazy-cat-lady land. i can assure you i'm not. i'm already fairly certain that max is going to be a one-time deal in my life, because after him any other cat is going to have a hard act to follow. seeing him in a lot of pain and being told by my vet that his problem was one that does kill big male cats (of which he is certainly one) was rough. it also created, as my SIL reminded me, a good learning experience. i am, one day, going to outlive my sweet feline. and while that idea pretty much rips me up right now, it has also been...healthy, i suppose, to realize that that's going to happen. i was also thrilled with my vet clinic. they were kind, helpful, very attentive, and incredibly considerate in regards to both max's health and the costs of pet care. there was no guilt regarding how long i waited to bring him in, and no guilt about being concerned about the money. they're never like that! they always operate and interact in such a noble manner. and that was such a relief.

in other parts of life...the running has been good. i seem to be alternating between great runs and cruddy ones, but i think that's all part of the development process. today i did six miles over hills faster than i ever have, and it hit me during the last half mile that i had run almost half of the half-marathon that we're all doing in five weeks. there was no doubt underlying that realization, no fear or wavering confidence. i've done halfs before, and this one will only be better than the last two. i have felt less and less like a runner this week, faltering and struggling with new shoes and tight calves and a seriously sore core (CROSS-TRAINING!!!), but today, i realized it wasn't so much about how i run physically, but how i run mentally. no doubt today that i can and will do this half in may...no doubt that i will enjoy it either. and that made me feel more like a runner than any of my good runs have.